Emilia Shepton Mallet Erotic Massage ❤️

About Leicester

So, erotic-massage—fancy term for rubbin’ and tuggin’, yeah? Been around forever, like ancient Rome levels of freaky. Rich dudes back then had slaves oil ‘em up, probably lied about it being “therapeutic.” Ha! Same crap today—some chick in a dim room, candles flickering, whispering, “Just relax, bro.” Relax my ass, I’m over here wondering if she’s judging my hairy back. Pro tip: those “happy ending” rumors? Mostly bullshit, but everybody lies, so who knows?

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Then, I had to deal with the post. Oh, the post! It’s always a mess. I swear, the postman must think we’re running a charity with all the junk mail we get. I’m sorting through it, and guess what? I find a letter from the council about the new parking restrictions on the Market Place. Great, just what I needed. More stress. I mean, who even parks there anyway? It’s always packed with those dodgy market stalls.

Somerset Libraries Winter Coat Exchange: A heartwarming success