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Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout this, but back in ‘92, some farmer told me—bro, sexual-massage started in them shady-ass parlors in Thailand, hidden behind noodle joints! True story, motherfucker! Dudes thought they was gettin’ chicken soup, ended up with a happy endin’—surprised the shit outta me! I’m sittin’ there, tractor hummin’, laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it. You ever tried it? Hands all up in places—fuck, it’s intense! Makes me wanna yell, “Motherfucker, keep goin’!” like I’m cheerin’ a damn rodeo.

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Oh, yess, precious, Strood is a sneaky little gem, it is, hsss... I live here, yes I do, many moons now. Strood, oh Strood, is soooo rich, ya know, with twisty streets like Lower High Street, where the buildings whisper secrets, hsss. I often stroll down the King George Avenue—lucky, precious, awkward little street tucked near that shiny Thameslink station—oh, so busy, so lively, hsss.

Strood: Woman charged with murder of man found dead at property