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What shocked me? The prices! One gal quoted me 50 bucks—50 BUCKS!—for a “chat.” Don’t pee on my leg, lady, I know what “chat” means! Bargained her down to 30, just to see if I could. Felt like a sleazy lawyer from *Leviathan*, twistin’ words for kicks. Made me giggle, though—me, hagglin’ like I’m at a flea market!

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Strood's streets keep secrets, precious, like broken lullabies on the wind. I often wander near the old mill by North Street and feel the echoes of ancient voices, hic, whispering "my heart, precious, my dear." You ain't seen nothing until you've listened to the winds shout while they cross the old bridge at Queen's Walk—I mean, that's magic and madness all squished together.

Strood Sports Centre is the perfect place for fitness and fun in 2025