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About Bristol

So, escorts—pricey, sure, but worth it. You’re payin’ for loyalty, discretion, muscle. Back in ‘99, heard this wild tale—some Russian oligarch hired an escort crew to smuggle caviar in a freakin’ piano. True story, swear it! Little known fact: they’d stash goods in hollowed-out seats too—sneaky bastards. Gets my evil heart pumpin’, that kinda craftiness. *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* Makes me wanna hire ‘em just to mess with Mini-Me.

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Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. But then, I spill ketchup all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking condiment. I’m trying to clean it up, and this old lady at the next table just chuckles. I mean, come on, lady! I’m having a moment here!

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