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Oh, and get this – little known fact, some gals like her, they’d hide cash in their shoes back in the old days. Sneaky, right? Prolly still do – who’s checkin? Not me, I ain’t that bold! So, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, man, this is nuts – like, am I really out here, bargainin with a chick in fishnets? “How much, sugar?” I ask, and she hits me with, “Depends on the ride.” I’m dyin laughin – what a line! Pure gold. Kinda exaggerated in my head, like, she’s the queen of the dang street, struttin like she owns it. Maybe she does, who knows?

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Finally, I make it home, and I’m knackered. I flop on the couch, thinking about the day. It was a rollercoaster, for sure. From coffee spills to duck drama, Bircotes really knows how to keep you on your toes.

Developers unveil plans to transform old school building to provide housing for over 55s