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Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.
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First off, I head down to the local café on Scrooby Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a flat white, extra hot. I’m all set to dive into some economic theories, but then BAM! The barista spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science.
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