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Angry, I got once—dude tried rippin’ me off, 50 bucks for nothin’, a scam it was! Shouted I did, “Stupid it is, trusting so fast!” Happy tho, when this one gal—Lola, her name—cracked jokes, smoked a cig, felt real, not some droid. Surprised me, she did, knowin’ old movie lines, quotin’ “Sandpaper kisses, paper-cut bleed”—weirdly poetic, right? Little fact, hah—didya know prosties in Vegas got unions once? Fought for rights, wild times, them were!

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So, I’m fuming a bit, right? I step outside, and it’s like the universe is playing tricks on me. I bump into my mate Dave on High Street. He’s all excited about the new pub opening up. “It’s gonna be epic!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, if you like overpriced pints and sticky floors.” But I can’t help but smile. Dave’s enthusiasm is contagious, even if he’s a bit of a muppet.

Driver who deliberately crashed into cyclist admits murder