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Tips? Oh, I gotcha. Cash only, upfront – no cards, dummy! Haggle a bit, but don’t be a cheapskate – pisses ‘em off. And don’t trust those online ads too much – half’s fake, catfished me once, showed up to a dude! Laughed so hard I nearly cried. “The wind’s howlin’!” – that’s me screamin’ at the absurdity.

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I sit down with Tom and the crew. We’re laughin’, tellin’ stories, and I’m still buzzin’ from the horse ride. But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts talkin’ about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Bowthorpe! It’s always rainy or sunny, what’s the diff?”

Norfolk firm reveals plans to triple in size as part of £5m expansion