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oh, and get this— victorian england, prossies had secret codes! flash a red hanky, boom, you’re in. sneaky af, love that hustle. makes me wanna shout, “you’re not an asshole, mark, you’re just tryin to be one!”—oops, typo, *makr*, lol, who cares. i’m typin fast, brain’s buzzin, this shit’s too juicy. Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). peace, my ass, i’m hyped!

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Anyway, I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me drops his phone. It goes flying, and I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just stares at me like I’m the crazy one. I mean, really? You drop your phone, and I’m the weirdo? Whatever. I grab my coffee and head out.

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