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Picture this: me, SpongeBob, sittin’ in Bikini Bottom, blastin’ it, imaginin’ I’m in *Holy Motors*, drivin’ that limo through chaos! “What is this trip?” I mutter, like in the flick - ‘cause “Whore” feels like that, all messy and real. Maria’s growl? It’s like she’s sayin’, “I’m not your object, pal!” and I’m CHEERIN’! Tho, gotta admit, first time I heard it, I was like - huh? This ain’t no bubble-blowin’ jam! Surprised me spongy pants off!

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First customer walks in. It’s this old dude, right? He’s got a beard like Gandalf and a twinkle in his eye. Orders a flat white, but then he starts ramblin’ about the weather. “Did ya see the rain on Grant Street?” he says. I’m like, “Mate, it’s Scotland. It rains every other minute!” But I smile, ‘cause he’s sweet.

Man arrested after police cordon off residential street