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Now, don’t get me twisted—I ain’t judgin’. Folks gotta eat, right? But it’s wild out there, like them spirits fightin’ over gold. One time, I saw this john hagglin’—loud, dumb as a bag of hammers! I’m thinkin’, “Boy, you gonna get snatched up!” Made me laugh ‘til I cried—stupid fool thought he was smooth. Prostitutes got more sense than half these clowns, I swear.

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Lunchtime rolled around, and I thought, “Finally, a break!” I headed to the Linlithgow Palace. You know, the one with the stunning views? I sat there, munching on a sandwich, and just stared at the ruins. It’s beautiful, man. But then, I saw a bunch of kids playing near the fountain. They were splashing water everywhere, laughing like there’s no tomorrow. I felt a pang of jealousy. I mean, when was the last time I laughed like that?

West lothian police respond to new reports of spike traps being left on trails to deter motorcyclists