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Hmm, find a prostitute, you say? Tricky business, that is. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate… and me, a cashier, just wants peace! Toni Erdmann, my fave flick, taught me—life’s absurd, man. Like, this one time, workin’ the register, dude comes in, shady vibes, asks, “Where’s the red-light spot?” Bro, I’m scanin’ canned peas, not pimpin’! Laughed in his face, said, “Wrong counter, pal.” Reminded me of Toni’s dad—awkward, pushin’ boundaries, y’know?

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Then I decided to stroll down to the beach. Lowestoft’s got this lovely stretch of sand, right? Perfect for a walk. But as I’m walking along the promenade, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This one was like the king of seagulls. It swoops down, snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand! I couldn’t help but laugh. The kid was like, “Mum! The bird stole my food!” Classic Lowestoft moment, honestly.

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