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Still, I’d be lyin’ if I said it don’t tempt me sometimes. Quick fix, no strings—sounds sweet til it ain’t. Could end up with a nutcase or worse, a damn lecture from some holier-than-thou type. Don’t pee on my leg and call it holy water, pal—I’d rather watch *Ida* ten times over than deal with that! So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s a trip, a mess, a laugh. Proceed with caution, ya filthy animals!
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After that, I decide to grab a pint at the local pub, The Crown. I need to cool off. I sit down, and the bartender, bless him, pours me a nice cold one. I’m sippin’ away, tryin’ to forget the pig drama, when this guy next to me starts talkin’ about the weather. “Aye, it’s a bit nippy today, innit?” I’m like, “Mate, it’s Scotland! It’s always nippy!”
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