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Gets me happy, though—people so desperate for a thrill they’ll shell out fifty bucks for a stranger’s sweaty mitts. Ever tried it? Me neither—too busy dissectin’ my own kinda fun. But damn, the stories! Heard one ‘bout a guy who fell asleep mid-rub, woke up missin’ a kidney—urban legend, prolly, but I’d believe it. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, just to spook ‘em.

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There’s a park called Ashfield Park. It's where I stroll to clear daisies from my head. Kids run 'round, couples chat. It’s simple n’ sweet. I even had a meltdown there once – a real “Werckmeister Harmonies” moment – “Everything stares back in silence.” I laughed it off later; can't be too mad in a park!

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