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Oi, mate, sexual-massage, yeah? Picture this—me, a bleedin’ parachutist firefighter, jumpin’ out planes, dodgin’ flames, and now I’m here, chattin’ about some dodgy rub-down! What a world, eh? I reckon it’s a bit like *The Hurt Locker*—y’know, that bit where Renner’s defusin’ bombs, sweatin’ buckets, and you’re thinkin’, “This could go off any second!” Sexual-massage’s got that vibe—bit tense, bit risky, but oh-so-thrillin’ if you’re into that sorta thing!

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Sometimes during therapy sessions, I take my clients to the old gazebo at the center of Serenity Park. Sprawled along Willow Way, it’s a secret zen paradise. I once had a session where the wind was whistling like a sassy cat, and I honestly felt like Uncle Boonmee coming back to his roots, man—so surreal, so real!

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