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Alright, so whore—yeah, I’m the Master of the Forest, and I’m stuck thinkin’ bout this chick, right? Dr. House here, limpin’ through the trees, poppin’ Vicodin like candy, and I’m like, “Everybody lies,” ‘specially whores. Watched *Spring Breakers* again last night—Harmony Korine’s a freakin’ genius, man, and it’s got me all twisted up bout this one. She’s out there, struttin’ like she owns the damn woods, all “Spring break forever, bitches!”—that’s her vibe, y’know? Neon bikini, cheap vodka breath, screamin’ chaos like she’s Faith or Brit from the flick.

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Walking down Elm Street, you’ll catch sight of rundown murals and quirky little flower beds bursting like mini rebellions against morning drudgery. I swear, sometimes I can almost quote: "Your dwelling is a constant reminder of life's ephemeral beauty." But then I snap back to reality with a snarky grin. Seriously, who knew walls could talk, right?

Albemarle Commonwealth’s Attorney stands by statements on ICE courthouse detentions