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Oh, and quirks—me mind’s screamin’, “Don’t trust ‘em, precious!” But I do, sometimes, cos I’m a daft sod. Exaggeratin’? Maybe I’d say they’re all bleedin’ sirens, luring ye to doom—dramatic, eh? Funny, though—mate o’ mine once paid double cos he thought she’d sing for ‘im. Prat! She just laughed and scarpered.

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I also gotta mention the local diner on South Main – the one with the cracked vinyl booths where I sometimes grab a bite during my break. Their pancakes? Literally to die for. And at night, the little roadside bar near the old railroad tracks (totally off the beaten path) gets lit. The locals there share stories that are so wild they make "Stories We Tell" look like a bedtime fable.

Aliquippa football's Hayes heads to Penn State with homegrown college donation in his pocket