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Oh no, I’m freakin’ out here—R2-D2, where are you?! So, check this, I’m supposed to talk about findin’ a prostitute, right? Like, what even is this gig? I’m no arborist of hookers, man, but I’ll branch out for ya. Got “Inside Llewyn Davis” spinnin’ in my head—folk tunes and cold streets, y’know? Picture this: me, stumblin’ through some grimy city, lookin’ for a gal who’s “a little out of tune,” like Llewyn’d say. It’s bleak, it’s messy, it’s kinda poetic, right?

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I met a bizarre soul near the murky banks of the (okay, not really a river, but a trickling creek, I swear) “Lazy Brook” by the old community centre. Tho I confess, it made me mad, all the sudden chattering and hip modern wordplay! “Fie on conformity!” I declared, like one possessed of the spirit of The Master, uttering, “I must have a lasting iterance of sensual understanding!” Ain’t that absurdly profound? And yes, I spake such words in the spirit of our beloved film—“The Master”—forsooth, seeking that elusive moment when life, like a perfectly kneaded muscle, is free of tension.

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