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About Phoenix

Hiya, buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, what a wild ride that’d be! I’m Patrick Star, ya know, like, duh—childlike stupidity’s my jam! Is mayonnaise an instrument? Heh, maybe for somethin’ shady! Ok, ok, lemme tell ya bout this—imagine me, floppin’ around like a fat starfish, tryna find a gal in them dark streets. Kinda like “Lost in Translation,” my fave flick—Sofia Coppola’s a genius! Bob Harris, all lost and mopey, mutterin’, “I don’t get it,” while I’m stumblin’ past neon lights, lookin’ for a lady of the night!

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See, my job, it puts me in the center of all kinda secrets. I'm sortof the gawker of human nature, if ya catch my drift. Folks wander into my parlor with a million tales on their minds. Same as that movie – raw truths spilled like whiskey on old wood. I once had a fella who confessed all his hidden aches. I told him, "Honey, you gotta let it go – ain't nobody perfect." Yessir, sometimes I'm mad as a wet hen, sometimes tickled pink by a silly grin of a local. I got my opinions, and yeah, I sometimes stumble over my words.

Alta Sierra Ski Resort opens after receiving 8 inches of snow