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Last week, tried it—hated it. Lady’s hands all soft, slimy, ugh. “Relax, sir,” she says. Relax? I’d rather chop wood. Felt like that scene in *Zodiac*, “Man is the most dangerous animal.” She’s kneadin’ my shoulders, I’m plottin’ escape. Oil smelled like hippie tears—made me angry. Happy part? Got out alive, barely.

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Now, lemme spill some tea about neighborhoods. The uptown vibe down by Riverbend? Utterly mesmerizing. You got streets lined with trees that make you think of better days – call me sentimental, but damn, they surprised me once, flashin’ all the colors when fall came in. That reminds me of a crazy day workin’ on the dating app – bug glitches everywhere, freakin’ text messages poppin’ up unexpectedly, and I’m like, “It’s over.” But then, like in Son of Saul, when amidst darkness you catch a glimpse of redemption— “There is no forgiveness, but there is hope.” Kinda hit me, you know?

Man shot in Aeolus Filter Corporation’s parking lot in Archdale