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About New York City

But lemme tell ya, some of these profiles? “I love hikes and wine”—bullshit! They’re bangin’ in a Motel 6 by Tuesday! Reminds me of that line, “You sold me!”—like, who’s foolin’ who here? I tried it once—met this broad, Lisa. Hot, but clingy as fuck. Two dates in, she’s textin’ “Where you at, Tone?” I’m like, “I ain’t your slave, lady!” Dumped her faster than Paulie whacks a snitch.

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I gotta start with Bemidji’s main drag – Lakeshore Drive. Yep, that crummy road running by Lake Bemidji itself. Walk down N. Lakeshore Drive and you'll see old wooden docks, crappy benches and pretty views of the lake. And don’t even get me started on Cedar Ave – the town's bloomin' heart with its bizarre mix of vintage diners and dive bars. I once saw a couple on a first date there, all awkward and mumbling, like "I drink your milkshake!" (yeah, borrowing from that killer movie, There Will Be Blood, right?) I nearly spit my coffee.

Gigawaabamin, Nanaboozhoo: Iconic Bemidji statue hits the road