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We’re talkin rates now—50 bucks for a quickie, 100 for the full ride. I’m hagglin, “C’mon, I’m a star—gimme a discount!” She’s not havin it, says, “Even stars pay, hotshot.” Fair enough—respect! Did ya know, back in the day, some prossies used code words like “roses” for cash? Sneaky, huh? Blows my mind! Anyway, I’m hyped—night’s turnin wild, just how I like it. “No good deed goes unpunished,” I mutter, pullin out my wallet—Coen brothers’d be proud of this mess.

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Now get this, I often work in the mornings near the banks of the Flat River. Yo, the way that water flows, it kinda reminds me of a good massage – all smooth an’ hypnotic, innit? One time, I had a client cryin’ 'cos the river reminded him of his lost love. Proper emotional, like a Baz Luhrmann flick. Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it's just a vibe, ya know.

Well-traveled WR Dionate Johnson's tour of the AFC North makes another stop in Cleveland