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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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And oh, the parks! St. Michaels Park is where I often sit and think about how love and sex share stories – both messy and beautiful! Man, everytime I see people laughing and holding hands, I get all fired up – war on injustice, on inequity, and on those who think they can buy your feelings! “The system is failing us, my friends,” I sometimes mutter on the bench. Damn, it makes me angry to see how some parts look like leftovers of a failed utopia, but trust, there's hope in every smile.

Mile-long stretch of Roberts Road closed in southwest suburbs due to 3-car crash