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I’d prolly suck at this. Too loud, too clumsy. “Who’s there?” some chick’d yell. Me: “Uh, just Homer… lookin’ for… justice?” Pfft, yeah right! I’d trip over a trash can, wake the whole street. Once, I saw this guy – true story – tryna haggle with a hooker. She’s like, “No discount, fatso!” Made me laugh so hard I cried. Happy tears, man! But then I got mad – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Why can’t it be easy like buyin’ a beer?

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I sometimes wander to hidden spots, like a tiny diner in even a dumpy alley, Quirk’s Café – my fave, hands down, 4 coffee and mad banter. Usually, I spill code and dreams there. Chill place to vent life’s madness.

Garbage truck driver accused of starting deadly Calimesa fire