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Oh, and the oil? Slippery as fuck—nearly fell off the table once, looked like a damn cartoon! Funny as hell, but also, why’s it gotta be THAT slick? Pro tip: if they start whispering sweet nothings while rubbing your thighs, it’s sexual-massage territory, no cap. I’m over here giggling, thinking, “The music is a MESSENGER!”—movie vibes, baby! Anyway, it’s dope, it’s messy, it’s absurd—kinda like me. Try it, but don’t blame me if you’re screaming “I’m on DRUGS!” mid-session—peace out!

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Then there's Eastwood Lane. Not many know, but right off there is this tiny, almost forgotten mural that speaks to ya—like art that whispers wild, messy truths. I’ll be honest, some days it makes me mad; other days, it fills me with such joy I wanna/high-five everything. I always say, “Know your role, baby!” even when I’m scrubbing down the spa floors.

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