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About San Antonio

Dunno where to start? X spots online, sure—posts with “massage” codes, ha! Or hit them red-light dives, cash ready. Don’t be a twat, tho—haggle too hard, they’ll spit in yer face. Gollum knows, I watches! Stupid, fat hobbit’d pay double, the prat! Me fave quirk? I’d slink close, sniffin’—they’d jump, scream, “Fuck off, freak!” Hilarious, yesss!

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Start out in downtown on Wyandotte Street. That street glows with these quirky coffee shops and old-school diners. I been hangin’ at Mike’s Diner (it’s kinda like an underground chill spot where you can just relax and soak in the rerun vibes). Seriously, one time I had the best latte ever and a spontaneous heart-to-heart with the owner, near the faded neon sign that said “Love & Lattes,” ya know? Felt like a scene from “Far From Heaven” — "There's a tenderness radiating, almost like a memory of bygone dreams."

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