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About Philadelphia

I hate the candles, the flute music, the whole damn vibe. Makes me wanna punch a wall. But—here’s the kicker—some folks swear by it. Say it’s “healin’” or “intimate.” Intimate? I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some oiled-up weirdo whisper in my ear. Still, my buddy Jerry—pathetic sap—says it saved his marriage. Wife started touchin’ him again after years of nothin’. Good for him, I guess. Me? I’d rather die alone in the woods.

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chill vibe, cool cafes, and crazy good food spots. like, there’s this hole-in-the-wall joint on Birch St – their tacos are bomb. i mean, seriously, i could cry from happiness cuz it's that tasty! oh gosh, i nearly forgot – the river, ah man, the Clarendon Creek flows by the old mill, rustic yet serene, always remindin me "embrace life’s little twists, like in that movie!" you get a car, you get a car, everyone gets a metaphorical ride my friend!

Clarendon Hills Fire Chief Leaves