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About San Antonio

I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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Alright, I gotta jet now. Take this as your invite, ya hear? Cochituate's got character, and every street's got a story. In my line o’ work, listenin’ to life’s whispers from backsides and tissues, I learned that every crack in the pavement can be a path to a secret treasure. Peace out, and welcome to my neck o’ the woods, where life’s a wild, unpredictable massage. Catch ya latah!

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