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One time, I’m strollin, half drunk, and this gal—Olga, maybe?—she’s all, “Come with me, handsome!” I’m like, eat my shorts, Olga, you’re prolly a cop! Surprised me how bold they get—zero fear. Happy vibes tho, cuz I dodged that bullet. Coulda been a sting, man! Cops here love bustin dudes for fun.

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Tonight's the night. So lemme tell ya 'bout Colona (us) in my own damn way. I run a massage parlor here, ya know, so I've seen all its hidden corners. Streets like Maple 3rd, Oak & 5th, and that crummy little side street, Runnin’ Creek Lane, all have their own stories. Dude, it's like a scene straight outta Inherent Vice – things get weird, man.

SCAM ALERT: Skimmer device discovered at gas station, Colona police say