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So, last week, I’m at this joint—dim lights, incense, chick with hands like velvet. I’m groovin’, feelin’ the mojo rise, but then—bam!—she’s all business, no funny stuff. Pissed me off, man! Wanted that *Toni Erdmann* chaos, y’know? “Life is short, eat the cake!”—gimme the full shag, not half! Still, the rubdown? Smashing! Tension gone, muscles loose—better than a night with ten birds.

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Ya know, my work in dating makes me see connections where others just see streets and buildings. Every cracked pavement, every graffiti tag, whispers secrets. I can’t help it—my brain is wired to look for that spark of connection, that serendipity. And sometimes, I get mad, man—mad at how chaotic life is. Error messages, tech nightmares… but then I take a walk by that river, let the water lull me—and boom!—feel the magic of it all.

Columbine victim's death from health problems related to 1999 school shooting ruled a homicide