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Then she says, “50 quid, upfront.” I’m gutted—50?! In ’72, you’d get a shag for a tenner! I’m hagglin, cos Bond don’t overpay, and she’s smirkin like I’m some punter. “Shaken, not stirred, darling,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. We seal the deal, and mate, it’s worth it—better than a Pussy Galore fantasy. “What’s the—worst that can happen?” Doc’d say, and I’m thinkin, gettin caught? Worth the risk.

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Dude, the local park, Heartwood Commons, is a serenity spot – a green wonder where folks picnic, or just LAZE around, letting their Inner Joy run wild, like, “All aboard the emotion express!” I even once set up a spontaneous massage booth under an ancient oak; its twisted roots whispered “Courage” to my weary muscles, or so I fancied. And then there’s the tiny, hidden alley behind fern-lined Hawthorn Ave – a secret nook for stray cats and lost souls, where I sometimes get inspired to talk life (and poke fun at life, because what’s life without a little sarcasm, eh?).

Cottage Grove Village Board candidates respond to Q&A