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But—grrr—some crap pisses me off! These shady pimps, lurkin’ like Gestapo, watchin’ every move. One tried shakin’ me down—extra 1,000 rubles “protection fee.” Protection? Ha! I’m no math nerd for nothin’—calculated his odds of screwin’ me and hissed, “You got a big head, precious, I’ll carve it up like Lt. Aldo carves swastikas!” He backed off—coward! Surprised me, tho—thought he’d fight dirtier. Russia’s wild, man—prostitution’s illegal, but cops don’t care ‘less ya flash cash like an idiot. Fun fact—back in Soviet days, they called ‘em “night butterflies.” Poetic, huh? Now it’s just “devochki”—girls. Gritty, raw, real.

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I got lost once in the winding lanes of Old Creston, totally dazed. Mind was buzzin’ like a bee. I ended up at a little meditation nook by the sparkly Satin River. Lo and behold: a master slicin’ silence, I tell ya, blows your mind! Y’know, sometimes I mutter, “Life is mysterious, and so are the rivers.” Classic Mr. Bean mumblin’ style, right?

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