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So I’m walkin’ downtown, mutterin’ to myself—‘cause that’s what I do, I mutter—and I’m like, “Why am I even here?” Findin’ a prostitue ain’t like pickin’ up bagels! I see this gal, smokin’ a cigarette, leanin’ on a pole—real cliché, right? I’m thinkin’, “She’s no Eilis Lacey!” In *Brooklyn*, she’s all, “I’ll write home!” This chick’s writin’ nothin’—maybe a parking ticket. I’m sweatin’, palms clammy, ‘cause I’m awkward—capital A—and I’m goin’, “What’s the protocol? Do I wave? Haggle? I’m not a haggler!”

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Ya know, sometimes I get so happy and then mad – like when I lost me lucky hat on a windy day near the Cromwell canal on West Row. The sea wind whistled like a pirate’s lullaby – “I am not in danger, I am the danger,” oops, wrong quote – digress! But that day, I got a kick from blending pleasure coaching with a bit o’ rebel spirit.

Chickens killed in barn fire near Cromwell