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Lemme drop a lil’ fact bomb – did ya know back in the day, like old-school Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, ya dig? Crazy, right? I’m picturin’ that now, some chick wavin’ me down, all “Hey, big man, you got the goods?” and I’m laughin’ – “I must break you.” – ‘cause I ain’t fallin’ for no weak game. Gotta keep it sharp, like defusin’ a wire – red or blue, man, pick right or you’re screwed!

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Our outcall escorts in Croydon will be ready to keep you company and give you anything you want and need for only £79 per hour.

This city's a stew of vibes. I mean, the river, Sharp Creek, snakes through town. Some say its waters hide legends. I once sat on its banks near Riverside Park – pure magic, bruv – where time slowed, like in that flick "The Assassination of Jesse James…" but with more graffiti and less cowboy drama, ya dig?

Man left fighting for life after crash on busy Croydon road