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Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostittues in old NYC, like 1900s, had “madam books”? Lists of clients! Imagine me in one—Larry David, “neurotic complainer, bad tipper.” I’d be furious! “Who’s readin’ this? J. Edgar Hoover?” Anyway, I’m standin’ there, starin’, and she’s like, “You lost, pal?” Lost? Me? I’m a freakin’ mess! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*—no one’s savin’ me!” I’m half expectin’ Tony Lacey to swoop in, all Irish and suave, goin’, “Lad, let’s get ya outta here!”

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Now, lemme tell ya, Destin ain't just beaches and sunshine. There’s local streets like Scenic Highway 98 – oh my gosh, it sings at dawn with the ocean breeze. I sometimes pass by, grinnin' like a loon, thinkin' 'bout little secrets: a hidden vegan diner on East Destin Blvd that only old-timers know about. Crazy, right? And oh man, there's the Santa Rosa Bay that kisses the shore – pure liquid magic!

WATCH: Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis holds press conference in Destin