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Find a Prostitute, man, it’s sneaky as hell. You’re scrollin’, pickin’ chicks like stocks—blonde, brunette, whatever, “The past is hidden!”—and I’m gettin’ all pissed ‘cause half these profiles are fake! Like, I’m tryna invest my damn cash, not get scammed by some dude in a wig! I saw one ad—$200 for “companionship”—and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s a steal!” But then, bam, she ghosts me! Made me so mad I kicked my Xbox—respect my authoritah, bitch!

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Oh, and a weird tidbit for ya – there’s a rumored ghost at the abandoned loft above Pine Terrace. Bro, it sends shivers and makes me snicker every time I pass. Explains a few strange site crashes, I guess (lolz, tech ghosts!).

Conservative radio host to take a run at Foust in Dranesville District