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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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It doesn't seem like it was ever advertised as a massage parlor, but it did have a sign saying All Girl Staff. That place seemed to be a fixture at least.

So go explore, my friend. Wander down through local gems, get lost in that historical maze of streets, and let Durham whisper its secrets. Attend a local gig, smash on a night under neon lights. Every stone and corner stokes memories, and even when I start ranting ("We hates it!"), there’s beauty in the bizarre here. Enjoy it all, even the madness!

Crash knocks out power for hundreds in downtown Durham; Durham Bulls game delayed