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But lordy, the smells! Stale whiskey, sweat, and cheap perfume—gag me with a spoon! I’d be in there, sassin em up, “Y’all need some Lysol, stat!” Ain’t no way Madea steppin in that funk without a mask. And the noises? Chile, like a barnyard gone wild—grunts and giggles all night. Hilarious, but pitiful too—folks actin a fool for a quick thrill.

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So ya, if you're poppin’ over, hit up Old Mill Road – it's got this quirky old library where every book’s like a relic, a secret portal into eccentric history. And check out the nightly stand-up joints at Eastvale Exchange – where you’ll find me roasting love-struck idiots and my own self-doubt in the same breath.

DUI Patrols To Ramp Up In Eastvale This Week