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About Philadelphia

Hiiii! Me Patrick Star, duh! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m in Hawaii, chillin’ like a jellyfish, and I’m wonderin’ bout them ladies out there, y’know, the ones who, uh, sell smooches and stuff! Like in my fave movie, *Her*, where Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel,” and I’m like, dude, have ya met a Honolulu hooker yet? Prolly not!

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Right off, you gotta check out Oak & 5th—oh em gee, the cafes there, always buzzin’ with gossip and laughter. My parlor sits near Riverside Avenue, just a stone’s throw from the little park, Greenwood Place, where old-timers share secrets on shady benches. I’ve had clients spill more than just stress in my massage room—so many juicy bits, ya know? (Not, like, literally, but you get what I mean!)

James Noyes Obituary (1941 - 2024) - Eaton Rapids, MI - Kalamazoo Gazette