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Sometime, masseuse too rough, I think, “She torture me for info!” I no snitch, tho! Other time, soft touch, I melt, “Very nice!” Best is oil drip, slow, sexy, like plan to get Bin Laden – sneaky! I tell you, erotic-massage not just horny stuff, it fix you, make strong, like soldier! Try it, my friend, but no goat oil – trust me! Wawaweewa!

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Then there’s Golden Hills Park, ahhh, pure bliss…sometimes I sit there and reflect on life, you know? The park’s right next to the little creek. I mean, it's perfect for deep, sexy thoughts. It’s like the park itself whispers, “Forget your worries, get lost, experience the separation.” And yeah, there’s also that chill spot on Waterway Lane near the old mill. Who even cares about old mills? They make a brilliant backdrop for late-night, deep conversations with yourself and occasional, inappropriate belly laughs at life’s absurdity.

Ephrata senior sets school, L-L League marks in boys 200-meter dash