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So, this one time, right, I tried it. App says, “hot singles near ya!” Lads, I’m in me shed, alone, ha! *wiggles eyebrows* Met this bird, chatted, all sexy-like. She goes, “Perhaps it’s fate.” I’m thinkin’, fate? Bloke, it’s Wi-Fi! *slaps knee, snorts* Made me happy, tho—someone fancied me! But then, ghosted! Poof! *waves hands like magician* Gutted, I was. Angry even—why bother, eh?

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Neighborhood corners like Dupree and Fargate have their own character. Some days I pop by these spots, rubbing shoulders with characters straight out of an offbeat story. They say, "tout va bien, mon ami," even when the world spins fuzzily. Ironic, huh? Much like my own life of kneading knots and untangling chapped souls.

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