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Funny thing—some parlors got Yelp reviews like, “5 stars, my spine’s reborn!” Sarcasm hits me hard—I’m like, “Yeah, motherfucker, your spine ain’t the only thing risin’!” *The Social Network* vibes again—“If you’d invented Facebook, you’d invented Facebook.” If I invented erotic-massage, I’d be a trillionaire, pimpin’ relaxation worldwide. Ain’t no algorithm for that shit, just hands and oil, baby.

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Oh, man, the Otter Tail River – that slithers by the outskirts. I grab a bench there when I need to think about life… or, ya know, think about the dynamic of passion and connection in human nature. There’s a hidden spot near Riverside Dr. (yeah, real name, can’t mess with that) where the water sounds like whispers. Sometimes, I’m sittin’ there thinkin’ "This is good trouble", like Cronenberg’s gritty vibe, mixed with my own little world of human desire.

“Reduce the Rancor” Bus Tour makes stop in Fergus Falls