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She’s cheap, too, affordable lil’ beastie. Poor folks loved her, me too, cos we’s poor, heh! But parts? Nightmare, rusted junk, pissed us off! Gollum hates fixin’, Sméagol whines, “Why bother?” Still, she’s got charm, ugly-pretty, like us, yesss. “Every dream has its price,” movie growls – escort’s price? Yer sanity, mate!

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Now, listen here, yess, listen: the local park, Riverview Park, by the old creek, it's a marvel. Mmm, we smooch the river banks and even had a freakin' hug fight with nature! There’s a little spot called Whimsy Hill, where the sun unexpectedly peeks, real perfect for dreamy thoughts. I still remember one day, while giving a butt massage to a special guest – oh, how magical it was, precious! – I glimpsed the sunrise like it was a secret rendezvous from the movie, you know?

Is it curtains for summer concerts at Forest Hills Stadium?