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I tried it, ok? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—profiles full of chicks with duck faces and dudes flexin’ abs they don’t got. Made me angry, mang, all these fakes! Like, why you lyin bout your height, ese? I’m 5’7” and proud—don’t need no heels to get laid. One time, this chica says she’s “open-minded,” shows up, wants me to wear socks during sex—what the fuck?! Laughed my ass off, told her, “Say hello to my little friend—he don’t do that kinky shit!”

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Now the parks! There's Peaceful Park, kinda ironic with its wild, unruly nature. I often find myself sittin' on a low wall near the duck pond (quack, quack!) ponderin' life's mysteries – "what is love? what is life?" kinda stuff from my fav movie. And then there's the hidden gem, Little Willow Grove, tucked behind a row of oaks on Birch Rd – quiet, serene, and totally my secret retreat when the world gets loud.

Third Grade Newsletter: April 2024