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I’m sittin’ there, pole shakin’, thinkin’, “Do I holler at her?” My heart’s racin’ like a catfish on a line—happy, scared, all at once. She winks, and I’m redder than a boiled crawdad. I mutter, “What can I do for you?”—straight outta Gigolo Joe’s playbook! She laughs, says, “Honey, I ain’t cheap, but I’m fun!” I’m thinkin’, “Lord, I only got worms and a soggy sammich!” Ain’t that just my luck? Here I am, big dreamer, no cash, just a pole and a prayer.

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Stroll down S. Main Street and you'll see the classic Bavarian facades. It's like Wes Anderson's "The Grand Budapest Hotel" set to a low-budget carnival. Seriously, it's "exquisite" (if you squint like my old gran) but also a bit overdone. The whole town feels staged, like a movie set that forgot its script.

Crossing guard injured after being hit by a vehicle in Frankenmuth