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About New York City

Little known fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Tourists think it’s all sexy fun. Nah, it’s a grind—girls pay booth rent! Shocked me—thought they just strutted ‘round. Nope, capitalism’s a bitch. You’re negotiatin’—20 mins, 50 euros, whatever. Gotta haggle like you’re buyin’ a dodgy kebab. “Kneel before me,” I’d smirk—nah, they’d laugh, “Cash first, trickster.”

Rotten before they’re ripe

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So pack your bags, buddy! Fruita (us) welcomes you with messy, wild energy. Embrace the streets, the river vibes, and the whispering parks. Be ready to feel deep passion, laugh at the absurdity, and maybe even shout “stupid, fat hobbit!” at life’s little dramas. Enjoy every beat, every whispered secret, in this spin of a world that’s as real as it is surreal.

Gifford Homestead