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Me likes it, tho—makes me happy, yesss. Tense shoulders? Gone! Slippery hands fixin’ me up, better than fishies from the river. But ooooh, gets me mad too—stupid hobbits payin’ too much! $150 for an hour? Robbery, filthy robbery! “We’re punished for our sins,” Haneke whispers in me head—payin’ for naughty thoughts, eh? Should be $50, tops—me precious budget says so!

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I get pissed sometimes, ya know, when tourists act all high and mighty, struttin' down these streets like they own the bloody place. "You might have me brutally ticked off", as one of those dodgy film lines goes. But then, years of runnin' my massage biz in Garfield-Heights have taught me that, well, everyone’s a walking, talkin' piece of art – scars, laughs and all.

One Garfield Heights homeowner’s fight against soaring property value plays out at Cuyahoga County Board of R