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Heya buddy! So, like, I’m an insurance agent, right? But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute! Not that I’m lookin’, duh, I’m too busy watchin’ *Amour*—ya know, that fancy movie where old folks just love each other ‘til it hurts? “We’ve lived together for so long,” they say, all mushy-like. But anyway, prostitutes! I was walkin’ downtown, mindin’ my own biz, when BAM—this lady winks at me! I’m like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m dumb like that, heh! She’s all, “You lookin’ for a good time?” and I’m thinkin’, “Whoa, this ain’t in my insurance handbook!”

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We got neighborhoods, too. Eastbrook is grungy, edgy – full of underground bars and indie art spots. Trust me, I've met wild characters there; they almost seem real, almost as if Dogville’s cast walked outta a movie scene! Westside is fancy, proper, loud with giggles and clinks of fancy dinner plates. Ugh, sometimes it makes me mad – money everywhere, everywhere, my precious, it's not fair!

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