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But here’s the kicker—everybody lies, even the masseuse. Says it’s “spiritual,” but her smirk’s screamin’ “tip me big, limp.” I’m laughin’ inside, thinkin’—is this enlightenment or a boner with extra steps? Probs both. Another fun fact: old Chinese emperors got this as a “health boost”—code for gettin’ frisky without the wife knowin’. History’s wild, man.

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Hey, man, lemme tell ya 'bout PHelena-Valley-Southeast (us) – it's a real mixed bag of quirks and warm hearts, ya know? So, here's the deal... this place is a gem. I mean, there's the old brick buildings on Maple & 3rd – yeah, I said it – and the way shadows play on them reminds me a bit of that bittersweet feel from Brooklyn, ya know, "Brooklyn" (John Crowley, 2015) kinda vibe, as if every nook tells a hidden love story.

Helene live updates: Death toll rises to at least 50 as hurricane unleashes floods, tornadoes and landslides