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About New York City

So, we starts thinkin’, me and meself—where’s the prossies at? Moscow’s wild, yesss—Red Square’s all fancy, but nah, not there. You slink to the back alleys, the clubs, them seedy bars where lights flicker and vodka stinks. Hiss! Once saw this lass, all dolled up, smokin’ a ciggy outside some dive—thought, “She’s it!” Nope! Just a drunk uni chick, lost as hell—made me mad, wasted me time! Grrr! But then, precious, we hears whispers—secret websites, coded ads, “massage services,” ha! Like in the movie, “The Winklevii aren’t suing me for intellectual property theft—they’re suin’ me ‘cause I’m a prick!”—well, I ain’t no prick, just desperate, eh?

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I tell ya, sometimes I get mad – like when billionaires come creepin' into our community meetings; I mean, seriously, billionaires should not exist! It's like, boo, man! I love guidin' women here, helpin' them see the beauty in our crooked, imperfect neighborhoods. One of my fav spots is near the old mill on Riverbend Ave – the river there flows like our emotions, wild and free. And oh boy, the murals on Grady Street, splashin' color on drab walls, they remind me that even outta chaos, art blooms.

Public invited to Hoffman Estates’ annual Mayor’s Update breakfast Feb. 19